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This is Ask a Cool Dad, in which our resident dad who is also cool fields questions from readers about how they, too, can navigate the difficulties of parenthood without looking like a square. Have parenting questions of your own? Send them to cooldad insidehook. I am the year-old father of a year-old daughter who recently brought her new boyfriend — a year-old man — home for Thanksgiving. And how can I overcome the instinctive weird feeling I have about this whole thing? Well, shit.

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Neil Elms says he was repeatedly sexually assaulted by Lawrence St. Peter, a Colorado priest who rose to high ranks in the Denver Archdiocese. Warning: This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual assault.

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Elms never told his mother or father, or any of his six siblings. He concealed it through two marriages, two children, nearly 10 years in the Army and jobs that took him across the globe.

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Peter insitting with his own grieving family to honor the life of the man who upended his. But one day in October, while he was fishing for small-mouth bass near his home in southwestern Massachusetts, his father phoned from Arvada. The investigation concluded that there had been at least three credible allegations of child sexual abuse by St. Peter and hinted there were probably many more victims. Peter ever lay a hand on you?

Elms was wading along a lonely stretch of the Housatonic River. Shallow, cold water rushed past him. Autumn leaves painted the surrounding Berkshire Mountains a fiery red. A decades-long burden bobbed to the surface. In the s, St. Peter rose to high ranks in the Denver Archdiocese, serving as vicar of priests, a job that gave him access to his own records.

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Peter was named to lead the archdiocese, as administrator, after Archbishop James Casey died March 14,and remained in the post until Archbishop J. Francis Stafford was installed several months later. InSt. Peter was given the title of monor, a Vatican-confirmed honorific reserved for priests who have provided exceptional service to the church.

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His file also contains no record of him being sent for psychological treatment twice in the mids. Other priests whose records were reviewed by investigators did contain documentation about abuse allegations and treatments.

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The abuse was finally investigated by the church starting inthe same year St. Peter was stripped of his clerical status. Peter dating to One victim, who came forward in September, said St. Two years later, St. Peter began sexually assaulting him, including adult hookups mature santa ive been good fondling, oral sex and anal rape. The abuse lasted four years and would typically happen after St. Peter had been drinking. Peter was beloved by his family. Peter sexually abused two of his brothers and another family member.

Another victim identified in the report was a parish employee and high school student at Holy Family when St. Peter abused him twice in The second time, St. Everyone who came into close contact with St. The victim immediately told a teacher and another Holy Family priest what happened, and the allegation reached two bishops. Peter was briefly sent to Missouri for treatment, but his access to children and his status in the church did not appear to change. Investigators found documentation that St.

Peter would undress and force the boy to give him back rubs in his rectory bed and at a mountain cabin. Peter was allegedly able to play a role in covering it up are all horrendous and despicable. Peter nearly impossible in our current environment.

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Elms remembers being 8 years old and in the third grade. He remembers being pulled out of his class by St. He remembers being led to a small room attached to the sanctuary at Holy Family.

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Elms remembers an ornate box that St. Peter kept in that room. Inside the container was a chalice that was used for religious ceremonies. It was blue. It was gold. Elms says St. Peter anally raped him twice in the span of about a week inthe same year St. Peter was named vicar of priests for the Denver Archdiocese.

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Both times, Elms defecated in his pants. Too afraid to tell anyone what had happened, he returned to class after having soiled himself. After the first rape, Elms says his mother was understanding when he came home with fouled clothes. The second time, she was livid as she cleaned him off, not knowing that he had been abused.

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Elms says the rapes happened after what he believes were years of grooming and other sexual abuse. But he is horrified by what he can remember. The abuse ended after the rapes.

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He thinks St. Peter realized he had physically hurt him and worried someone at the school was going to notice. Being sexually abused by this guy was so normal to me that I was actually shocked that no one else was. I treated myself as the outcast. I was afraid of what my classmates would say — that I was a brown-noser. When Brian saw St. Peter and whose other siblings were sexually abused by the priest, was especially concerning to Brian. It reminded him of his own family. Peter was a ubiquitous figure for the Elmses. Peter, in his will, even left the Elmses a small cabin in Georgetown.

Neil can remember at least one time the Elmses showed up at St. Peter was too drunk and slurring his words.

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We saw him a lot. He helped my family in all sorts of ways while we were financially struggling. Peter, starting with his own childhood. He teared up talking about taking his infant daughter to meet St. Did I have this happen? Did I keep this from my family and others?

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As Brian recounted the experience, he paused at one point as his disgust boiled over. None of the other Elms siblings have come forward to say they were molested by him, either.

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Peter, his actions have taken a major toll on the family.