Unlike those of us who came of age in the s and have spent the vast majority of our dating lives swiping for love, lust or something in between, you probably remember a time when people dated without WiFi.
I used to have a big preference for dating older guys.
Regardless, times have changed, and while dating apps may not exactly be within your comfort zone, I commend you for being on them. As someone who entered adulthood just as dating apps were hitting their mids peak, however, I flatter myself someone who has not only memorized the rules, but even makes a few of them.
Having spent the past few years of my online dating career swiping largely on men in their 40s, 50s and up, I like to think I have a bit of wisdom to share with the older gents, DILFs and silver foxes of the online dating pool. For your edification, behold: the most common mistakes I see among older guys on dating apps.
Kart & bike owners
As a woman living in a highly ageist, misogynistic society — one that is often ageist specifically in misogynistic ways — I can certainly understand the impulse to lie about your age. Some date older guys say check your privilege, I say you might as well use it. But suffice to say, society treats middle-aged men much better than it does middle-aged women, particularly when it comes to assessments of sexual market value. In fact, many might consider you, middle-aged man, to be in you prime.
Older men, dating, and the perks of age-gap romance
I promise you there are plenty of women on the internet who do want to date someone your age, so just focus on them. Honestly, this is probably healthy.
While members of later generations are doomed to date older guys around with iPhones full of photographic evidence of ourselves in various states of humiliation constantly at our fingertips, most photographic evidence of your life is probably tucked away in photo albums and canisters of undeveloped film, only to be revisited when and if you so choose. Your profile should have, at absolute minimum, three photos.
Moreover, having too few photos is also a red flag for catfishing. At least four to six photos, showing you at various angles and in different contexts, is ideal. And remember, keep the selfies to a minimum. Like it or not, astrology is in right now, especially among younger generations.
The perks—and challenges—of dating a much older man
Many dating apps even allow users to filter by astrological. Negativity, in general, tends not to be a winning strategy on dating apps, and negativity toward astrology, specifically, can actually carry misogynistic undertones that may come as a red flag to prospective matches.
Emojis have a tendency to go in and out of style — or to pick up additional, often irreverent, meanings — at a rate with which you, frankly, are probably incapable of keeping up. Even millennials, the generation responsible for bringing emojis into the lexicon, have recently encountered the harsh truth that their beloved cry-laugh emoji is no longer en vogue.
Through no real fault of your own, most older guys have no idea how to use emojis, and there are certain ones to which you seem to gravitate that stick out like a sore, aging thumb. This article was featured in the InsideHook newsletter.
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If you're an older guy on dating apps, congrats, but chances are you're committing a few online dating faux pas without realizing it
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