You meet a special gal at a party and you really hit it off.
At the end of the night, you got her phone and parted ways. What should you do?
Call her? Text her? Even just a decade and a half ago the next step would have been clear: get the girl on the horn and ask her out. The viability, desirability, and our overall attitudes towards texting have shifted as well, especially among the younger set. For many, what was once improper, has now become preferable. The modern dater thus exists in a confusing borderland phone call date two forms of communication and it should be just these two, by the way; no asking women out on Facebook, Twitter, etc.!
This limbo has left men unsure of whether they should call or text to ask someone on a date. So today we lay out the pros and cons of both approaches, so you can make the best decision as to which way to go. The Pros and Cons of Texting vs.
Calling When comedian Aziz Ansari and sociologist Eric Klinenberg teamed up to write a book on the conundrums of the modern, heterosexual dating scenethey conducted hundreds of focus groups and interviews with those experiencing it on the ground. When it came to the question of whether to ask someone out by phone or by text, they found their panels were divided on the issue; some thought phone call date was the confident, mature way to go about it, while others thought talking on the phone was too awkward and anxiety-ridden a proposition for both parties.
This division mirrors the varied opinions uncovered by a survey conducted by Match. In short, while the acceptability of texting for dates is definitely on the rise, especially among younger folks, there is still not a universal consensus as to which option to choose.
This makes perfect sense given our anthropological history; calling is much more nerve-racking and takes a lot more guts than texting, and for thousands of years, and all around the phone call date, men were supposed to be the initiators and risk-takers when it came to mating and courtship. So when you ask a woman out over the phone, you harken back to a form of primal — and highly attractive — masculinity.
More flattering and personal. The fact that you are indeed taking a risk and putting yourself out there makes the ask seem more special.
Separates you from the pack. Texters are a dime a dozen, so calling to ask for a date will certainly come off as distinctive.
The case for the first date phone call
And in fact, women in the focus groups had found that those who called for a date did turn out to be phone call date a higher caliber than those who texted. Women are understandably uncomfortable with going out with someone they may have just met in passing or remember only fuzzily from the bar. Exercises your conversation muscles. Text messages allow you to carefully craft your messages, but they atrophy your ability to make spontaneous conversation.
Going from first phone call to first date
The Cons of Calling Can be awkward. Can seem too forward. Given that texting allows the recipient to respond in their own time — a pace of communication people have gotten used to — phone call date phone call can now seem too intrusive and aggressive. Rarity can be misread. Calls have become so rare, that a ringing phone is often jarring and associated with an emergency or something going wrong — not an association a suitor wants attached to him.
The Pros of Texting Easier and less anxiety-inducing. The obvious advantage — calling is nerve-racking and more risky; texting is much less so and is thus far easier to execute.
Not sure what to say on the phone? this list of questions will keep the conversation going:
Allows both parties to be comfortable. Texting is not only easier on the sender, but also the recipient. Rather than having to respond in real time, texting allows a woman to gather her thoughts, and reply on her own schedule. Allows for the creation of more thoughtful messages. This gives you space to potentially say something more genuine, humorous, thoughtful, etc.
The Cons of Texting More generic and impersonal. Since texts are easier to send, the gesture seems less special and flattering. You could be calling a whole bunch of women too, but the nerve-racking and personal nature of a call makes this much less likely.
10 reasons why you should call your online date before meeting
May show shyness. Since calling takes chutzpah, a text could be read as a lack of confidence and a desire to hide behind your phone. More potential for misunderstanding. With texting, humor, sarcasm, and certain wordings and punctuations can be read the wrong way, leading to misunderstandings. As you can see, there really are two sides of the coin when it comes to whether you should call or text to ask a woman out. For the old school gentleman, it may be easy to dismiss texting as a wimpy, impersonal, new-fangled technology not fit for phone call date communications.
Both fall short of the charm of face-to-face interactions, just in different ways.
When it comes to demonstrating virile initiative and courage, calling wins, hands down. In some ways, texts are more civil, allowing the recipient space to respond without pressure. In this, texting your crush is actually much more like the calling cards of yore, than the rather more presumptuous practice of phoning in your interest.
How to spot red flags on the first phone call
Ultimately, the very best rule is simply to do whatever it is that actually gets you to ask for that date; making some move always beats making none, and feeling the sting of regret. Menu podcast. Accessories Shaving Style.
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